B59 - Another Reality

There's a lot more that I could write about my experiences in the Maritimes but the last post brings to mind, the synchronicity of my issues with body and sex and then to have all this unloving sex stuff going on around me...

It was interesting to say the least to see the dynamics and inter-actions of the man who I was renting the room from and his wife. At one point we were talking about women and sex and he said that sex is great as long as you don't let your emotions get in the way. I laughed and replied that I was just the opposite, that sex isn't anything without emotions and that I can't imagine not having any emotions or feelings when having sex.

He also confided in me that he was also getting a little on the side and was telling me that he was going to call it quits with her because she was getting way to personal and wanted to know his first name. A while later, his wife was over and accused him of having an affair but he denied it and got on her case for falsely accusing him and not trusting him. He later told me he didn't lie to her as he wasn't having an affair, he was just having sex. Then there is another twist, here his wife is jealous of him playing around but she works in a business that caters to lies and deceit and husbands cheating on their wives. In her twisted mentality it's OK if husbands cheat on their wives just as long as it's not her husband... Dah!

The women who were on "call" were also interesting. All the working girls were from 20 to early 30's. I overheard him talking to one girl that just had a baby and she was telling him that she would be ready to go back to work in a week. Another had arranged to have him call and ask her to baby sit for him when there was a call for her because she didn't want her boyfriend to find out what she was doing. She'd change into her work cloths while en route to the call and then back again on the way home. A couple of the other girls were alcoholics or on drugs as that was the only way they could handle doing what they were called to do. And of course, any new girls that wanted in, were tried out.

The girls were also asked, no, they were told what to wear and how to act and what to do. If a US government official wanted two nice girls, he got two nice girls. If three guys wanted one girl, they got it unbeknown to the girl that blindly thought she was doing one trick. The girls were on call at all hours for one and all be it a BJ for a trucker in a parking lot or overnight stint for a business executive in a five star hotel.

There was no love present and all the sex was power and rage sex in the state of denial. it was just heartless fucking... plain... but not so simple. I still haven't integrated all that happened and I don't really understand it ...yet.. but I will.

JR