B10 - Another Move

'05 Jan5
Hi everyone,

Well here I go again. I've moved, and the ad said furnished, well it ain't, all it had was a bed. (Period) I had to go out and buy some bedding and shelving units for stortage and I also made myself a desk for my computer. I also got some of my camping supplies out to make my meals. Not that there isn't any utensils around, it's just that they not clean and are pilled up in the sink.

A couple of things that I'm already being activated into are the couples arguring and also the mess, especially in the kitchen. BOTH these remind me of my childhood.

Another thing I realized this morning is that I'm not finished with the "last" place yet. I haven't gotten my damage deposit back and I realized that part of my issue is another form of fear of being attacked if I disagreed with him and that I also found myself giving him the benifit of the doubt AGAIN!!! It's also reminding me of my childhood and all the promises my mother and father made to me that they never kept, but I always gave them the benifit of the doubt, what else could I do.

I'm going back today to confront him, both with my fears of being attacked when I tell him what a liar and user he is and that I'll never see my money if I do. I also have another side of me that is telling me to hurt him where he's hurting you, in the pocket book as I could report him for numerous fire, electrical and plumbing code violations.

I'm running out of time, so I'll let you know what happens in my next post.

Cheers,
John