B30 - Another Hospital experience

Hi Again,

It's been a couple of weeks since my last post. I mentioned earlier that I had been to the hospital emergency ward and I had to go in again. At first the medicine that I was taking appeared to be working but as I neared the end of the prescription I began to feel the old symptoms coming back. When I woke up on Sat. Mar.18 I was in discomfort and by noon I could hardly walk. Around 2:30 p.m. I was talking to the owner of the house where I'm staying and he told about an after hours clinic. I called to arrange an appointment and much to my surprise, I was told to come right in. By 3:00 p.m. I had found the place and was doing the paper work.

I saw a young woman doctor (my first woman doctor) who after examining me, sent to the hospital for blood and urine tests and an ultrasound. She also gave me a prescription but said that I wasn't to fill it until she had received the results of the tests. I went to a different hospital and again to my surprise, I was next in line. Because I had been to the bathroom before I saw the doctor, I had to wait another hour before getting a urine sample. Even with that extra wait, by 5:00 p.m. they had the results of the tests, had called the doctor, and told me that it was OK to get the prescription filled. I got the prescription filled and was home just after 5:00 pm. What a difference from the last experience.

I began to feel better the next morning and continued to feel an improvement daily. The doc had told me to come back on Wednesday, which I did, and after a brief examination she told me that the tests were clean, and that she even had them test for S.T.D's. She said I had a bacterial infection of unknown origin in my testicles that the prescription should clean it up. While the prescription is having its positive results it's also throwing me "off". By "off" I mean out of balance, disoriented, lack of concentration, etc. I notice that it affects me most for a few hours after taking the pill and that it wears off as the day goes on. I don't drive for at least four hours after I've taken a pill. Needless to say I haven't done too much on my book these past few weeks with all that I've been feeling and going through.



B29 - New place OK --- Group not OK :)

Well things are going smooth at my new rooming place. The owner cleaned the walls, bought an air purifier, and also cut on his smoking. He even washed my pillows to get rid of the smoky smell.

I went to the third "hands of Light" meeting and after a half hour I left. The week before we had a change of plans and instead of starting at the beginning of the book we took turns reading the last chapter out loud. There was little or no discussion of the last chapter as we spent most of the time reading.

We were told last week that we were to read the first few chapters to be discussed this week. Another woman in the group wanted to go back and discuss last weeks reading as did I as there was a lot of points that needed to be cleared. The woman that organized the meeting just wanted to start reading as that's what a study group does. I disagreed and said that I had already read it as had everyone else, so why not start at the first page and discuss what we read instead of spending hours reading out loud and better yet, go back and discuss last weeks reading in detail. She was adamant and as I pushed my chair back from the table, I said "I'm wasting my time here as reading lessons is not what I want."

She went and got my coat and when I had it on she opened her arms as she made her way toward me she saying, "well give me a hug anyway." I put my left hand up to stop her and said "No!" She was shocked! I said "I don't want your guilt filled hug that you're trying to give me to make you feel better." The other women looked at me and didn't say anything. Before I left I gave them my phone number and e-mail address if they wanted to get a hold of me.

Well that's it for now.... Ahh, not quite, my book, my second one. I'm having a hard time writing and organizing. I wrote some material over a year ago and although it's still relative, there's more. Adding more isn't as simple as it seems as now the more is also more interwined with other topics. So needle4ss to say I've been stalling, hoping that I'm not going to have to scrap the 80 or so pages and just start over again



B28 - Hospital Expereience

Hi everyone,

About a month ago I came down with what I thought was a cold. I had an extreme headache plus my whole spine ached to the tip of my tailbone and all my joints were sore and achy. Added to that my private parts were also in pain. I basically stayed in bed to two days as all I was doing was sneezing and sweating.

After the second day the sneezing was gone but I felt it had gone into my chest and throat, but nothing ever materialized as in a cough or sore throat but it just hung on as a background feeling of "something" waiting to attack me. Although my body aches gradually disappeared I was still left with a tenderness and pain in groin and private parts, OK! Testicles, there I've said it. I thought it would go way with time but that was not the case as I also began to have pain in my kidneys.

I'm out of province, and I asked around about seing a GP and was told that there is awaiting list of over 5000 people looking for a doctor. I called a few public clinics to see if I could get help but they couldn’t help me so I ended up going to the emergency ward of the hospital. That was an experience I wouldn't forget.

I sat in the waiting room for 5 1/2 hours and then was taken to an examining room. As per hospital regulations I stripped down and put on a hospital gown and for the next 3 1/2 hours I sat on a chair reading Chatelaine. After 3 hours I was getting cold so I put my clothes back on and five minutes later the doctor came in. I disrobed as we talked and after a brief examination I was given a prescription for an bladder, kidney, prostrate, testicle infection.

While that's my story, the other 30-35 people in the waiting room are in the same boat. The hospital appears to look after people in the order of severity of injury or illness or as ambulances come in and I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the casual attitude of the staff. There is no rush and I don't know if it's true or not but there appeared to be only one doctor on call, and this is in the daytime, 10 am to 7 pm. What would they do if there was a real emergency situation? So much for our universal health care that's going down the tubes!



B27 - Transitions (same but different)

Well the move out went pretty smooth. The last night I was there, the young man was trying to pick a fight. I was in the kitchen going through the fridge tossing out some food stuff and he came down stairs like a herd of elephants, stomping and huffin and puffin. He never ever made supper between 5 - 6 as he usually ate around 9 - 10. He took over the counter space and the stove and I could feel that he was looking to see what I was making for supper and waiting for "his" moment. I had planned to have some left over soup later on so I told him to knock himself out, that the kitchen was all his as I threw some sprouting garlic into the garbage and went to watch the news on TV. He never said a word but I could feel is anger and hear him muttering and banging in the kitchen.

Later I went to have a shower and I found my soap was squished and mangled so that all that was left was sliver the size of a quarter. I knew he did it out of spite but that was OK as I had enough to shower with and I was planning to toss it after my shower anyway. As I was leaving, I told the landlady about it and warned her that when things turn "sour" between them that she better look out as he will get violent.

I wrote an article to the to the local newspaper in reply to an editorial on bullies. I had been watching the papers to see if it would be published and on Tuesday I noticed that there was no paper in the house. The landlady usually brings it in before going to work so I went out to see it it was there but nothing. Later, when she came home I asked if she had taken the paper to work. She said no, that it was in the mailbox when she left. We then looked in the mail box and she said that someone must have stolen it. I thought that her actions and response were odd, but what the heck, I was moving out anyway. On Wednesday I stopped at the Library and got the Tuesday paper and low and behold, top and centre was my article and my name in bold on the bottom. I guess the thief wanted to have that article :)

As mentioned I had some troubles at the new place with smells and cigarette smoke, but I expressed my fears and my issues and the owner has cut down on his smoking, washed the cupboards, installed and air purifier, washed my pillows, and is cleaning up the storage room in the basement under my bedroom. Things are getting better and I haven't had to sleep with the windows open the past two nights.

I'm still taking the ballromm dance classes on Sat. night and Sunday afternoon is a two hour practice time. I really enjoy it. I've also joined a book study group on Sunday night dealing with "Hands of Light" by Barbara Ann Brennan. There are presently four women (Reiki masters and practitioners) in the group and me. The first meeting was last week and it will be interesting to see what develops tonight as although they are not bible thumpers, they have a similar "positive only" attitude. While stating that they create their own reality, anything that is deemed negative or evil is not considered part of the reality they choose to experience and so they openly deny that unlovingness and evil exist. I laughed when it came up last week as I said that unlovingness and evil had to exist, at least long enough to activate them into denying that it existed. That if it didn't exist, then how could they know about it to be able to deny it? They disagreed and went around in circles trying to justify their beliefs yet at the same time saying that they were open to new experiences and point of views.



B26 - This is NOT funny :)

Hi again,

Well it's '06 March 2 and I moved in yesterday. When I took the apartment the owner said that he worked a lot and that I’d like it here as it was quiet. As he lit up a cigarette he said the place was clean, which on the surface it was. When I asked him if there was smoking he said that he smoked a little after work and then asked if I could smell cigarette smoke when I came in. I said that I didn’t although I did smell smoke from the wood stove that he used for heating. We chatted some more and I gave him a $100 deposit and left. I should have paid attention to my intuition as when I left, I could smell smoke on my jacket but I put it dawn to the fact that he was smoking when I was there.

I moved in around noon and the owner was home by 1:00 pm and was home for the rest of the day, smoking. By 10:00pm when I went to get my shower and I could smell smoke coming off me as I was showering. I went to bed just after 11:00pm and woke up around 2:00am, I couldn’t breathe. My pillow case that I had been laying on in the afternoon now smelled of stale smoke and it was in the air. I opened the window about an inch to let some fresh air in and that was how I was able to have some sleep. I went to the washroom around 5:30 am and saw the owner laying on the living room couch, watching TV and you guessed it smoking. He was gone when I got up to make breakfast and I counted 15 cigarette butts in the ashtray.

I’ve turned on the portable heater and left the window open a crack hopefully letting this air out. I put on clean clothes this morning and already can smell smoke on them, and it’s only been 2 1/2 hours. YUK! Well you guessed it, I’ll be giving him my notice today and I don’t know if I’ll last to the end of the month. I’ll have to see what happens as I don’t really want to lose or can afford to lose a months rent. More to come 


B25 - On the move AGAIN?

Well I’m on the move again. I’ll be moving to a sub-division near Moncton. I'll have cable TV and a TV, phone and high speed internet. It’s also beside a large park and a kilometer from the Peticodiac River that has the Bay of Fundy ocean tides that has hiking and biking trails beside it. I’ll be sharing the house with the owner (male) and another guy. I don’t feel that I’ll be there too long.
Things have been gradually deteriorating as a few weeks ago I had a discussion with my present landlady and I stopped having any deep discussions with her as no matter what was discussed it always came back to “being saved." I carried on with shit-chats but that too deteriorated so that now all we talk about now is the weather or the dog.

As mentioned earlier, she got a new boarder, a young lad that has the “hots” for her daughter, but the daughter can’t stand him. The land lady thinks he’s great as he had a job in the oil fields in Alberta and was saving his money, investing, going to buy a house, yadda, yadda. He’s the kind of man that she wants for her daughter (and for herself) as he agrees with her, goes to church and the "Y" with her. She takes him shopping, drops him off and wakes him up when he has to go to work, teaches him how to cook and clean. The daughter doesn’t know any this yet I'm sure she'd freak if she knew. I feel that he's replacing the daughter figure and also the boys. Anyway, he and I didn’t hit it off.

The landlady’s daughter had only moved in three months earlier but had moved out just before the new border moved in and she’s living with her Dad again. The landlady and her 16 year old daughter never got along as the daughter was always doing something wrong, I called her Cinderella. The landlady never gave her daughter or her other two younger boys, the kind of attention she gives the new lad. Last weekend the daughter dropped in to say hi. We had only chatted a few minutes when the landlady came home and began talking to the daughter. I left and went to my room and a few moments later I heard a commotion downstairs as she threw her out of the house. She didn’t physically throw her out but she was on her like a starving dog after a piece of meat. Later I asked her why she didn’t even talk to her or let her daughter talk and she said that she owes her money and until she pays it, she’s not welcome in her house. I asked how may thousands of dollars does she owes. She said she owes her $13.00 and until she pays, she’s no daughter of mine. I said, that’s a good example of how money can buy Christian love.

The landlady’s also has two sons who live with the father but who visit her every second weekend. Last weekend they were lying to her face and making her look stupid. She just blew it off and then she lied to them. I let it be as I felt it was for her to deal with. Later my comment to that episode was that “children learn by example.” She replied that I didn’t know the whole story. I said I was there when they told you what they were going and I was there when they lied, so what's to know? I said that if you would have challenged their lies, instead of lying, I would have backed you up, but it was your choice, not mine. I had previously spoken to her when I had a run in with all the children a few weeks back and I called them on their lies that had to do with me. Since then, the kids and I have actually had some good talks.

Back to my issues with the new border that started with him mumbling, as I couldn’t make out what he was saying and finally I got him to talk so that I could understand him. The next issues were with him wanting to know where I was going and doing. The final issue was with the phone. He was always running to answer it, although it has an answering machine. He would then ask me where the landlady was, when she’d be back, or to tell her that so and so called. I told him on two occasions that if he wants to answer the phone, that’s his business not mine and to not bother me as I let the machine pick it up. After the third incident and me telling him twice that we’ve been through this before, I got angry and told him to fuck off! He stopped and wet upstairs.

A few minutes later the land lady came in and went upstairs to her room. He had been in his room and had now come down stairs and as he was getting dressed to go out he muttered something to me. I asked him what he said and he said fuck off. I began to talk to him and he started to utter a strange “chirping” sound whenever I spoke so that he couldn’t hear me. I never bothered with him as he was going out.

After he left I went upstairs and told the landlady what had just happened. I had spoken to her before about my run in with him and the phone and she said she’d talk to him. I mentioned that her talks didn’t work, but I think he got the message today. She mentioned that she overheard our conversation and that she didn't like that kind of language in her house. She said that I was older and should know better, that he was younger and had things to learn. I said if that’s a truth, then he should respect me as I’m older and have things to teach him. She defended him on all accounts and told me that she didn’t want that kind of tension or language in the house. I told her not to tell me what to do unless she also tells him, that he’s the one that's bugging and attacking me, pretending to be ignorant, not me him. I told her that if she wants to play the old two rule game that I wasn’t going to be a part of it. She then said that she also didn't like me interfering with her personal life. I said I was living in the same house, how can I not be aware of what's going on? I also mentioned that I don't say anything unless I'm directly involved.

She then said that if I didn’t like it I could leave. I said that's your choice, so I'm giving you my months notice. She wanted me out ASAP but seeing all this happened on the Feb 14th and rent was due that day, I told her I’d be out by the end of the month. Since then she had a chat with him and he basically stays out of my way now.
I still haven’t figured out what’s really going on. I don’t know if he’s evil (a denial Spirit) or if he’s just ignorant and confused. It doesn’t really matter about him, as what’s important is what it has to do with me. I still have till the end of the month to figure that out and also see what else comes up.