B94 - Not on same page... AGAIN... but OK

’06 Sept 30 Saturday 7:30 a.m. .... I wrote five pages in my journal on healing and the different levels and how complicated it is when we are finding our way and then how simple it is once true healing is our intent. It’s too long to post here, but I’ll try to get out some how.

Marian and I were in the Kitchen and she was making pancakes for breakfast and she started the topic of the bank card again. This time I said, “I agree with you, you’re right.” She didn’t hear me and kept on talking. I said it five times before she stopped and looked at me, totally confused? “You‘re agreeing with me,” she said? “Yes, what you are saying is true, and what I was taking about was also true. All I said was that if anyone found my card that they could open an account in my name… the end. My concern was that they could open an account… all the rest is what you were talking about… and that’s why we were not able to understand each other.” She said, “You’re right… but.” I stopped her and said, “No buts, you’re right and I’m right, we were just talking about two different things.” She reflected for a moment and I knew she got it this time… end of discussion… but in a different way and light.

3:30 p.m. Well Gary finally came and moved his stuff out and I cleaned up the room and brought my stuff in and unpacked… I’ll be sleeping in a real bed for the first time in over a month….. Nice  And guess what… I’m basically caught up on my Blog…Now the trick will be to keep it current…

B93 - (Message from Hathor) and Two Dreams

’06 Sept 29 Friday 6:00 a.m.

This is Hathor, the preserve of Life. That which I seek, I seek not to kill but to protect. It is the essence of Life I seek for it is that which endures. Although the Body and Mind may be subdued and destroyed, that which remains is eternal. But though I say it is eternal, for if it truly was, there would be no need for protection. But alas, it too suffers as does the Mind and Body but it is that which provides for the Mind and Body its essence so that Life may flourish.

It is since the beginning of time that there has been this struggle by those that seek to control all that is created, to find that which is this eternal flame that refuses to be extinguished no matter how relentlessly it is hunted down and brought to the edge of extension, lo, even then, it still flickers to re-ignite and continue life anew. It is like a flame, a light that no matter how the wind may try to extinguish it, it re-ignites when even all trace of glow or ember has died and blackened. This eternal flame is that which I seek, not to destroy, but to protect.

Hathor (The protector)
I knew that hathor was Egyptian, so I did a brief net search and found that Hathor was the daughter of the sun god Ra, and was the goddess of the sky and of love, festivity, and beauty. As a goddess fertility as well, she embodied nature. There many pictures that show Hathor with the head of a cow. Her son was Horus, but she gave him up to Isis. She later married Horus. I felt that she was protecting the Earth and when I found this picture on the net, it symbolized what I felt

6: 44 a.m. I saw a dark shadowy figure lurking as if it were waiting for something or someone. It had two arms, two legs and a head, but no real physically defined form or features and it stood about ten feet high. I felt that it was the predator that stalks the female, (this eternal light that Hathor was talking about) that has the DNA that is the true source and not of it. That which is of it, still needs that from which it came in order to exist, while that which is it, is the eternal flame…

7:00 a.m. I saw a woman tied hand and foot, standing spread eagle, tied to two pillars, like in the King Kong movie. This Ape like creature that I described before was behind her waiting for her to die in order to capture her essence of which 80% had been destroyed or already removed.

B92 - Not on the same page (Insight)

’06 Sept 28 6:30 p.m. .....Marian was doing her banking on line and we got onto the topic of banking cards and she said that it was easy to set up an account on line and that all I needed to have was my bank card number and name and then when you log on, you select a password and you set up your account.

I said, “So if I don’t have an internet account already and I lost my bank card and someone found it, they could open up a net account and have access to my bank account?”

She said, “No they would have to have your password.”

I replied, “But they do, they are the ones that have my card with my name and they are the ones that set up the account and they also set the password.”

She then stated rather firmly, ” No, they couldn’t use your account as they can’t take money out or transfer funds to any account but to your accounts.

After a few more minutes of going around in circles, and her saying that I wasn’t listening to her, I realized that we weren’t on the same page. She was actually talking about them not being able to transfer my money to their account, or paying their bills, as both would be traced and that you can only do transfers to other personal accounts you have. While I… was talking about a crook being able to open and set up an account if he found my bank card… I told her that but it didn’t sink in.

B91 - Pale Blue Orb

’06 Sept 27 Thursday .... Tonight I saw a pale blue orb, about the size of an egg, at the top of the stairs. At first I though it was by eyes and one of those retained retina images. But as I walked past it to go down the stairs, it remained in the same position, although my body and eyes were moving. What and who is it? I don’t know yet…but I will. I do feel that it is one of my guides and I keep getting it’s Astrid.

B90 - Depression and imprinting

’06 Sept 27 ..... Wednesday 10:00 a.m. Marian was talking about her grandmother and how she died and that the death certificate said that she died of Alzheimer’s and pneumonia. Marian said that she felt that she also suffered from depression. I said, “She didn’t suffer from depression, but that she suffered as a result of her continued denial of why she was depressed and the secrets she was keeping.” Marian shrugged her shoulder and changed the subject.

I felt that depression was common in Marian’s family as her grandmother, mother and she has it. I feel that Marians depression is due in part to her being the only and (lonely) child as her mother, Rose was very distant and rarely expressed any real emotions and Marians dad, Jock, was a mans man and that mean a stiff upper lip and no show of emotion either. Rose had a rough childhood and never healed her issues, so she brought Marian up in the only what she knew how which wasn’t though a display of real emotions and love, but by buying her love, like new clothes, or things or eating out.

When I married Marian, she had to have the best of everything and while I couldn’t afford to give her the things she wanted, her mother could and did. Marian was just responding to old habits and her belief of what love was. She became depressed after Bryan was born as she now felt that she didn’t have the freedom to do what she wanted to do, or to have the things she wanted as now she was also responsible for feeding, clothing an caring for a child.

She was accustomed to getting and doing what she wanted and when she entered the unknown territory of motherhood, she found that it was taking away her comfort and happiness, instead of adding to it. She was running on her old programs and beliefs that said, new things brought happiness and when she didn't get it, she became depressed. At the time, neither of us knew what was really going on and we trusted the Doctors.

She still believes what her Doctors told her over the years that she is suffering from bi-polar, manic depression among other things, brought on by a chemical imbalance in her brain. To Marian, the problem is outside herself and not her or within her, or if it is within her, it is only what the doctors have told her regarding a chemical imbalance.

B89 - The Smell of Evil…..Again!!!!

’06 Sept 26 4:30 p.m. Gary was home as he took a day off of work because of his sore big toe on his right foot, gout. I went to the Salvati0on Army and picked up a swivel chair for the desk I bought a few days ago. When I came back Gary was gone and Marian was spraying the whole house with febreze, creating a smell that was a mix between Raid and Tide and it made me nauseous. She was saying that she had to spray as Gary had a smell about him that she didn’t like. I didn’t “smell” anything but I felt an evil and unloving presence. I was tired and wanted a brief rest, so I went to my room, shut the door, blocked the draft under the door and opened the window.

11:30 p.m. I was trying to think and feel what this evil was and although it’s around Gary.. I also feel that it has something to do with Marian. After the Febreze mix smell dissipated, I was able to smell a overpowering sickly sweet fragrance like the strong smell of honey as when you put your nose right up to it and inhale it a few times.

B88 - Sexual Predicators – Energy Vampires

'06 Sept 26 ....The male sex organs are an outward expression of love of giving, while the female sex organs are an inward expression of love, of receiving. The outward expression is also how we express ourselves to others while in the inward is how we express and relate to ourselves. The penis is an extension of the Body when love, passion and desire are felt AND also when rage, anger and lust are felt. Both presently operate unloving in a state of denial to get high or a fix off of the 2nd chakra energy. This 2nd chakra or sacral energy has a different feel to it and a different energy and experience than the Survival chakra energy but it is just as powerful in its own way.

Again, men are the sexual predicators (vampires) that feed off of this energy and their favorite “food” is women that are of love essence but in denial. It’s not only men, but women also feed off of men that are love essence in denial and men off of men and women off of women in gay/lesbian relationships… whatever is vulnerable and their preference is what they use, food is food. That also ties in to what I said earlier about “good and evil” and how opposites attract and how love essence in denial thinks that having sex with an unloving essence in anger and rage is love, meanwhile it’s just an unloving rage fuck.

B87 - Body Movement, Music, feelings and emotions

’06 Sept 26 Tuesday.....I was thinking of what Janno said in his post that he was gay because at the age of five, he was watching ballet and he liked the men in tights. I posted a reply, but then got to thinking more of why and what attracted a little five year old boy to ballet and men in tights. It wasn’t the ballet or the men in tights that he was attracted to but the freedom of movement that the body of the dancers expressed. They danced and moved their body not only to the sound and vibration of the music, but also to what they were feeling at the time…in the moment. And while the whole dance was choreographed, they still put their feelings and emotions into the dance.

The dance was also more…of moving with a partner that was moving in their own space and time and in their individual style, but yet in unison, in partnership with another or others on the stage.

Sound has vibration and is expressed through music and although music is structured, it can also be expressed in unlimited forms and ways. But in order for music to have life, to have presence, the instruments must be played with emotion, passion and desire. Also related is voice and singing, and again, feeling, emotion and desire, give the vocal sound life.

B86 - My activation

’06 Sept 22 Friday 4:00 a.m.
I went to reply to a post by jannokas, and was activated into my issues of being a teacher or rather of having a student. Here is my post.
Healing is never just one way...

Well now it's my turn to be activated. Thanks

In another thread, you saying that I was a master didn't activate me, but you saying that you are my student did. I never thought of it that way and although I want to share what I have found and teach others how to also experience it for themselves, I never really felt the implications of that. Someone calling me a teacher doesn't get me going but someone saying they are a student does, as I feel that that implies that I am somehow responsible for their being able to absorb what I am sharing and that they can use the information to empower themselves. If they fail, I feel that means that I'm a failure in that I wasn't right, didn't say it right, and missed something so they didn't understand me and is the reason they failed..... Hummmm?

So what are the imprints, programs and beliefs that I still have that say that I'm responsible for another’s success and happiness if they put their trust in me... in my words.... in my ideals.... in my hopes dreams and desires for a New World?

Later, I was talking with my friend Jen on the phone and told her about this and as she was sharing what she was picking up, I was feeling all sorts of past life issues come up and I was becoming emotional.. feeling mainly heartbreak. Where I had the power to change what was, but I failed... and as a result, those that I was trying to help also experienced the unrealized ideas and it all went into lost hopes, dreams and desires. I failed for many reasons, but the most important one was my un-awareness of the power of my denials and what they were creating. In this life time I am becoming aware of the power of denial and its "negative" power to not create life, happiness joy, abundance, and peace, but rather to control, manipulate and ultimately destroy it bit by bit.

There's more.. a lot more.. but this is a start and I thank you for making me aware of yet another issue I was unaware of and that I need and want to heal...

So... thanks...... Teacher..

’06 Sept 23 Saturday 11;30 a.m. Since Marian hasn’t been feeling the pain in her back, she’s been on a high, getting rid of her old clothes, getting new ones. She complains about not having money but she went out today and spent $500.00 on a new pair of glasses as the others were almost two years old and out of style. When she’s on this high, there is no stopping or talking to her as what she wants, she gets. Later, when she comes down and her world begins to fall apart she’ll be depressed as now she has to pay for all these things.

B85 - Pain and Feeling no Pain

1:26 p.m This morning Marian came downstairs and said that this is the first morning in a long time that she had no pain when she got up. I replied that this is the first morning that she’s feeling no pain, as I felt that the pain was still there but that she was unable or numb to feeling it.

’06 Sept 20 Wed I spoke to my brother Dave tonight and he was saying that he was going to the hospital next Tuesday to get the cancer tumor on his back removed, BUT that he also had to have more blood tests as his white blood cell count was not good and that he might have Leukemia… I never mentioned this before but his wife, Debbie, died of colon cancer two or three years ago. He has three sons that are grown and married and he’s been looking at getting some acreage outside of Regina for a change of pace. Some change of pace.

Insight on my Truck repairs
’06 Sept 21 Thursday, I dropped the trunk off at 8:00 a.m. and I went for a coffee. By the time I came back at 8:45 a.m. the truck was finished and it cost me $93.21 in total... just 1/2 hour shop time... Says a lot for Canadian Tire... aka… Crappy Tire

Well... that's not really what this post is about as I later realized that these links that were broken on my truck are also links that are broken on me. The links joined the upper stabilizer bar to the lower control arm of the suspension system that ultimately controls my connection to the road and my ability to move in the direction I want to. In relating that to me personally, I feel that I need to repair my "links" to my spiritual plane stabilizer bar and to what keeps me secure to the Earth plane. There are two links, left and right, Soul and Spirit, female and Male. I feel that these links are more for balance between these two aspects of my being so that when one is affected, the other is there to help return everything to centre and balance.

"It is as a river that man channels the energies of life through him and if he were to watch and listen, he would see that his outer reality is as much a reflection of his inner reality as he chooses to see and hear."

Besides survival chakra energy and its desire for Life, there is also our sacral chakra energy and our desire for love.

’06 Sept 22 Friday 4:00 a.m. I was thinking of my brother Dave tonight and how he’s spent his whole life sacrificing himself to make others happy and now that he finally get to do what he wants, his life is being threatened by cancer.

B84 - Dream/Vision of UFO

’06 Sept 20 Wednesday With experience comes understanding and knowing…. And in applying your understanding and knowing comes wisdom and more experience..

3:35 a.m. I awoke from a dream/vision that a UFO released a magnetic object in space near Earth and it was attracting all the space junk and like a magnet, this junk was sticking to it. It was not only attracting space debris, but also attracting and at the same time, disabling all military satellites and weapons, or satellites that had a military or spy function. The Hubble telescope was reprogrammed to look only into space and not towards Earth. Weather satellites still functioned but were also re-programmed to provide information only on the weather.

The object and its collection of space objects became huge as it gathered more and more of these military satellites and weapons. It could be seen from Earth as a small moon in the sky. Even the space station was attracted to the magnetic object. It was shut down and all abroad were taken off by a shuttle that had come up on another mission but when all this started happening and the space station starting moving toward the object; they retrieved them and returned to Earth.

B83 - Things that go “Clunk”

’06 Sept 16 I've been hearing a "clunk" in my front end for the past few months but I could never find the problem as it was a intermittent. As I turned into a parking spot I heard it again and this time I found the source. Turns out that both my links that connect my stabilized bar to the lower control arm were broken, not only broken, but they looked as if they had been broken and rusted off for a long time... I just had a ball joint replaced and a front end alignment by CANADIAN TIRE in the Maritimes and they never said a word... I happened to be in a Woodstock mall and there was a Canadian Tire store near by so I went in and asked for a quote on getting it fixed...The Saturday service rep said it was three hours ($80.00/hr) plus parts around $100... I looked at him and questioned the three hours as there were only two nuts on each link and they were fully exposed? He was adamant about the three hours shop time. I told him no thanks.
As I left, I was planning to do the job myself as my Marian had some tools. As I was driving home, I spotted an Auto Parts store a few block from CTC and got a quote for under $50.00 for the parts tax included.

’06 Swept 17 I posted > Opposite points of View
And also >The Croc Hunter and Survival Chakra energy

’06 Sept 19 Tuesday. I took Marian to the hospital this morning to get an epidermal in her back as she has been suffering from back pain for quit a while.

It finally stopped raining this afternoon so I thought I’d try to get the old links out of my truck. I figured that if I could get the old parts out, it would be no problem getting the new ones put in. It turned out that while my Marian had some sockets, they were not deep enough to hold the bolt and I eventually gave up a went to a small Auto repair shop half way between Canadian Tire and the Auto Parts store. I gave Dan the info and he quoted me $70.00/hr labour (max one hour) plus parts. I agreed and made an appointment for Thursday morning.

B82 - Good and Evil

’06 Sept 15 Good and Evil: This war has been going on since the beginning of Creation. That which is love, calls that which is unloving evil. That which is unloving calls that which is love, evil. It’s a stalemate…or so we have been lead to believe.

The stalemate is only valid and maintained as long as we that are of love essence deny ourselves. When we are in the state of denial, we reverse a part of our energy polarity and become in essence, an unloving doer of evil; thinking, behaving and acting in the same way that unloving essence does and thusly, falsely believing that love is evil… Dah! What a joke, a cosmic joke that really isn’t very funny.

Love essence is the only essence that can end this battle by the acceptance of the presence of denial within us and thereby ending our denial of self that creates the polarity reversal of our essence. Unloving essence can only deny and can only accept denial and the presence of denial in love essence. It is incapable of moving past its imprints, programs and beliefs. The constant battle between good and evil has gone on without change or the ability of either side to see a way to end this conflict until now and love has, and is the KEY. Now there is a way to end this conflict. And a New Light is anchoring here on Earth and is moving out to affect all of creation.

Tonight I got an e-mail from my brother in law that prompted me to post >>> Australia - Canada --- Christian Rednecks.. eh!

I haven’t spoken to Jen since I left, although I have tried to call her a few times. I’ve left messages and even told her to call my cell number when she is able to talk and that I’d call her back on Skype… but she hasn’t done that either.. Right now I feel what’s the use? I haven’t called Irene as I keep getting that she is not open to my call.

B81 - Busy on the Net

The past few days I’ve been having a barrage of private e-mails and questions from Experts. I’ve also been doing a lot of posting on a form or message board called Spiritual Awareness.

There has been this one 21 year old gay guy that I’ve been talking with. I’ll give you the link if you are interested or actually two links as he jumped from one thread to another…The first thread is > Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answer > I desperately need some advice, please.
And the second one is > Spiritual Awareness > Questions & Answers > Unusual Question

I’m also going to give you another link where the thread was terminated by the board owner Lisa, that I had met a few years ago. That thread is called > Spiritual Awareness > Community > Emotionally, mentally, spiritually.... wore out!!

Well I finally posted them on my message board.. this post will give you the links

B80 - What’s going on?

’06 Sept 12 Tuesday I received another e-mail from Bonnie and she was trying to clear up what she called a misunderstanding from our previous e-mail. I felt that she was back in her “denial mode” by dumping all unwanted emotions in a well and forgetting about them, that she told me that she used to do and now she mentioned that she has also been encouraging her husband to do the same… I was blunt and to the point saying that what she was doing now, was not what we did in the regression and to not try to tell me that she was following my advice or methods. I also told her that she was saying one thing and doing another and that if that was her choice, I wasn’t going to try to get her to change her mind. That was the last time I heard from her….

Today I posted Fear and Denial and also Fear, denial, and activation

’06 Sept 13 Wednesday. It seems that everywhere I go I activate people. When I got home, Marian told me that Gary didn’t like me sleeping on his futon and that he wanted it back. When he had heard that I was going to be visiting, he told Marian that I could use his futon (that was in storage) and it was put on the floor in the spare bedroom. When Marian heard his demand, she was going to go out and but a new futon, but I told her no problem as I had an air mattress that I could sleep on until he moved out at the end of the month and I got the mattress out of my camping supplies.

Today I posted the insights that I got with Irene’s activation called, Fear, denial, activation and Insights

I talked with Marian about rent and how much she wanted. I had checked the paper and there were several rooms with cable, internet and laundry going for $300.00/month She said it would be less than that but didn’t say how much.

A couple of days ago, I noticed that Gary had stashed a 24 of beer beside the fridge and a new gallon jug of whiskey in the corner of the dining room. Today there were only 12 beer left and the gallon was down to less than 2/3‘s. If Gary is home after supper, Marian lets him watch the TV in the living room while she uses the one in her bedroom. I don’t watch TV as I’m on the computer, but when I go down to the kitchen, I see him watching TV in the dark with a drink in his hand. This guy is an alcoholic.

B79 - Similarities and Differences

’06 Sept 10 Sunday 8:35 a.m. I was thinking of similarities and differences and I was trying to expand these two polarity concepts to see if there was link between them and Spirit and Soul…. By that I mean, is the…. As I began I realized that it’s all relative… I was going to say that feelings are activated by things that are similar, that happened before and that remind us of something else, but then I realized that at the same time we can also feel different, outside of, not belonging…. So we drift between both polarities… So now what?

As I was typing this piece for my Blog I realized that even though feeling different, outside of , not belonging may appear to be of a DIFFERENT polarity, they are in fact still part of the SIMILAR polarity in that this feeling is still similar to what we had experienced before… (scratching me head) Hummm. I feel I’m going around in circles.

3:30p.m. I was washing my clothes and watching TV with Marian when I noticed her right foot moving and that her toes were moving in an erratic pattern. I commented on it and she said that she has always had that and that it was restless foot syndrome. I replied that if you were younger, that you would have been diagnosed was having ADD. She relied that the Doctors have said that there is a link between the two and as a child she probably had it but wasn’t diagnosed with it.

4:30 p.m. I called my brother Dave this afternoon; he said that he had been expecting my call. We chatted briefly about him buying some acreage outside Regina and how the deal fell through. He also told me that he was going into the hospital as they did a biopsy on the tissues they removed from his back a couple of months ago and found that it was all cancer and that they would need to do surgery again. This cancer growth is on his back, behind his heart… What ticks me off is that it took so long for the biopsy to be completed when they know they are dealing with a life and death situation and that ever hour counts. and then there is also no rush to get the surgery done either.

I finally got hooked up to Marian’s internet and so I posted my first Blog entry in almost a month.


B78 - Things happening but I don’t know why? Yet!

’06 Sept 09 Saturday I was thinking of Gary not wanting me here, yet we have hardly spoken to each other and when we did discuss things like the 9/11 cover-up we were in basic agreement. Marian was telling me that Gary also has issues with his girl friends daughter who is living with her. He said that he was pissed off that his girlfriend put her daughter ahead of him. I feel that he only reason that he came here was because Marian was alone. I realized that he is afraid of groups that include more than one person. It’s a competition and control issue as when it’s one-on-one with a woman there’s no problem and he’s a smooth talker. And part of the reason that Marian wants someone here is that she is afraid to be alone.

I went to a local coffee house that had wireless internet and I checked my e-mail. Bonnie the woman that I did a regression and healing with e-mailed me today. From what she said, she was glad to have had someone that she could express her emotions with and that her husband Rick wasn’t ready to do that with her and that he has feelings and emotions that he also needs to express. It’s Ironic that here the two of them are living together, have similar issues and desires, yet unable to work together to help each other heal their wounds.

B77 - Woodstock aka Pleasantville

’06 Sept 07 After breakfast I went downtown to see if there were any New Age stores in Woodstock. I walked down main street and found four Christian book store and two Christian missionary stores but not one New Age or even close….. It’s like the Maritimes….even worse!!!! It’s a clean little town….actually it’s a small city. As I drove though town I thought of the movie “Pleasantville” where everyone was nice and pleasant but unreal, ignorant and in denial. I know that when I attended my daughters wedding here I felt a lot of phony presentation smiles and niceness with a dark undercurrent much like what I experienced in the Maritimes…

When I came back I talked to Marian about this bible thumping town ands she agreed and said that she thought that it was mostly protestant. I checked the phone book and of the more than 50 churches, Baptists and Anglicans have the most with only three Catholic churches… the rest are other protestant denominations… Marian also mentioned that she goes to church to socialize…Hummm?

’06 Sept 08 I had gone to visit my daughter Janice last night and I told her that I was thinking of returning to Barrie to get a room there as Marian already had a border and that there really wasn’t the space for three separate people sharing a house, as Gary had the exclusive use of the upstairs bathroom and that I was to use the guest bathroom by the front entrance and to use her ensuite bathroom to shower at night.

Friday, I drove to London today to look for New Age shops there… I was surprised as London has over 385,000 people, a far cry from the last time I visited it twenty-five years ago. I found one shop but the woman was pretty aloof. It was in the older part of the City on Dundas St. that had a little bit of everything going on, drugs, homeless people, prostitutes, gays, bikers, gangs and poor but also some affluent people.

When I got back from London, Marian told me that Gary had called her on the phone and told her that he wasn’t happy with me being there and wanted to know when I was leaving. She told him that I stayed a week last time but she didn’t know. He said that wasn’t acceptable and she told him that if he didn’t like it that he could move out. He told her that he’d out at the end of the month. He also complained that the fridge needed to be turned up because his beer wasn’t cold enough. She told him to stuff it. I told Marian of my plans to leave on Monday but that now, if he’s leaving and if she was still renting out the room, that I’d take it for a few months. She said that I was welcome to stay and so here I am… my new home …Woodstock Ontario


B76 - Heading for Woodstock

’06 Sept 06 Wednesday

When I had arrived and was camping out at Irenes, I told Jen I’d probably be leaving mid week but I wasn’t sure if I was leaving late Wednesday or Thursday, but as Jen and Cory were discussing their separate plans for the day… that they never told me about, I decided to pack up and leave. I suddenly felt excluded and un-welcome as they had their day already planned… without me. I felt that the whole purpose of my visiting with them was so that we could spend some time together and while I spoke with Jen a bit, I hardly spoke with Cory. I know they also have a life and it’s not like they have to babysit me or spend all their free time with me, but it would be nice to know what was going on so that I could also make plans, but then again, I could have asked and I didn’t.

I also felt an un-easy-ness with them this morning as if something had been said between them during the night but that they didn't want to talk about it. I had stated my views on the "benifit" to them and on all the "stuff" that was going on in and around it and I felt that they felt that I wasn't really a nice guy and happy for my friend or understanding how people were only trying to help and be nice and kind. I also didn’t say anything then (more denial) and decided to roll up my sleeping bag and say farewell and heard for Woodstock.

When I was still in the Maritimes, my ex-wife, Marian had invited me to stay at her place in Woodstock. I called her on my cell phone and slowly made my way down through Barrie, Newmarket, and Richmond Hill, then onto the 401 to Woodstock. Traffic was heavy and I went through three thunder storms and arrived around 5:00 p.m. I met Gary, a border that she had taken in a few weeks back and as she was preparing to leave to go to a meeting, I just brought a few things in and made myself comfortable in the spare bedroom. I called my daughter, Janice who also lives in town and then had a shower. I briefly talked to Marian when she came home and went to bed around 9:30 p.m. as I was tired.

Before I went to sleep I wrote the following in my journal.

I feel lost and alone. I feel that Irene is gone for now and that Jen and Cory are busy doing their thing. Even before my visit I hardly talked to Jen as she never answered her phone or returned my calls. I feel she’s kind of distant. While we still have things in common, she talks like we’re not even on the same page. She says she has experienced all these things yet she doesn’t apply them in her life. She says that I infuriate her in that I don’t let her finish and that I interrupt her and that my questions are not important as we are really talking about the same thing.

For me, she says one thing and I challenge her as it’s the opposite of what is really true, and she reverses herself and then says that that was what she said, or meant to say and that if I hadn’t of interrupted her, that I would have found that out… It’s a replay of what happened between us six years ago when I had my awakening and she was doing the same thing… When I challenged her that time, and spoke the truth of what she was denying, she also called me evil and unloving and asked me to leave and I never spoke to her for two years after that.

Hummm? I wonder what all this means? It’s like I’m caught in a time warp and while there is movement, there is no “real” movement or healing present…

B75 - Regression, Wicca and Witchcraft

‘06 Sept 05 Tuesday.
Cory was at work so Jen and I chatted until she asked if I wanted to go into Penetang as she wanted to get a watch band sized for Cory. As we were coming out of the jewelry shop Jen bumped into an acquaintance of hers and we had a chat in the mall for a good hour before it was decided that I’d do a regression with Bonnie.

Jen had to go home so I went back to the house with Jen and picked up my truck and drove back to the Mall to pick up Bonnie and a computer she was having repaired. We went to her place and we spent another hour another hour or so talking about Wicca and witchcraft and other stuff that she was into. We finally went into the regression that lasted for almost two hours and when she came out she had a new perspective on love and denial. It was around 5:30 p.m. when we ended the session and we were in the kitchen, chatting about the regression when her husband, Rick, came home from work. I could feel he was confused and also disturbed that I was there, but as Bonnie was talking and filling him in on what we had been doing, I felt no need to justify my being there even if it made him feel uneasy. On the way back to Jens, I grabbed some take out as both Jen and Cory weren’t home.

9:00 p.m. Jen came home from her last meditation class and asked me if I wanted to do a word association game. I looked up from writing in my journal and said no, that I wasn’t feeling good and she asked me what was wrong, what’s attacking me? I never thought of that, I was thinking it was the “take out” food that I ate… I scanned my energy field and felt two people, the first was Irene… she was attacking me because she was pissed off that I was healthy and not sick like her and that AI didn’t understand. The second was Rick, Bonnie’s husband and I felt that he had put some kind of hex or spell on me like Bonnie told me he did to a co-worker that was giving him a hard time. I send both energies back to where they belonged and in a few minutes, I began to feel better.

Cory came home a few minutes later and said that uncle had died un-expectantly and that the funeral was on Saturday Sept 8. Jen commented that Theresa, who was planning this benefit for her called to say that she was helping her parents move to the cottage on Saturday but that she would be there Saturday night for the benefit. Angelia was working most of Saturday, so if Cory wasn’t there either, then who was left to set up the hall? I felt it wasn’t going to happen and that it was all beginning to unravel.

B74 - Activating Irene and watching people

’06 Sept 02 Saturday.
The morning coffee and chat with Irene was rather quiet, She went to rest and I moved my tent to a new spot so that it wouldn’t kill the grass, I decided to go to Baum Beach and get some sun as there was a break in the weather. I had Chinese food before I returned to Irene’s and it was that night that I activated her with the dog. See Blog Denial and Fear

‘06 Sept 03 Sunday.
My unexpected departure from Irene and Dave’s put a "ka bosh" in my plans, as I was supposed to spend a few days with Jen and Cory before I made my way to Woodstock to spend a few days at my ex-wifes and to see my daughter Janice and Mark her husband, but they had gone away for the long weekend and wouldn't be back until late Monday afternoon. After breakfast I spent some time in town before making my way to a regional forestry area. I was going to camp out but decided to spend the night in my truck as it had begun to rain again and my tent was wet.

‘06 Sept 04
After spending a quiet night in the woods, I made my way back to town and after breakfast at McDonalds. There was obese, boisterous woman talking to four of her friends, she could be heard all over the restaurant as I saw several people looking at her. A young family with two small children came in and sat between me and the woman. The youngest boy had a blue bandage on his nose and the boisterous woman asked him what happened to him? He innocently told her that he fell on the driveway and skinned his nose. The woman then began to tell him that he shouldn’t have a BLUE bandage on his nose as everyone can see it and that he is hurt and that he should have one that matched the colour of the skin on his nose… I could see the father getting ticked off but he didn’t say anything to the woman as the little boy looked up at him in bewilderment.

The woman then turned back to her friends and carried on mouthing her opinions and judgments. I can’t remember what she was talking about but at one point I looked at her and silently said “bullshit.” She momentarily stopped her verbal diarrhea as she turned to look my way. We made eye contact and she looked bewildered and as I felt she heard what I said. She then she shook he head, turned to her friends, who were also looking my way and then carried on as if nothing had happened.

I spent the next few hours at the lake in the centre of town. I took the opportunity to take some picture and to dry out my tent. I made my way to Jen and Cory’s around 5:30 p.m.

As Cory was out, Jen and I chatted a few hours catching up on our major experiences since the last time we met in person was last fall. We also discussed the up-coming benefit for her that was being held this Saturday Sept 9. The hall and entertainment was already booked and tickets were on sale. She was tired and by 10:00 p.m. said good night and I crawled into my sleeping back on the futon.

B73 - The plot thickens….

’06 Sept 01 Friday,
Jen called Irene this morning saying that she found out about the benefit that Theresa and Angelia were planning for her. It seems that Theresa and Angelia got Cory to give them Jen’s personal phone book which contained Jen’s family phone numbers and that they had called them telling them what they were planning.

Jen’s mother and Vic were not happy as they said that it gives others the impression that they are not doing anything for Jen. Jen’s brother was upset that the phone numbers were given out and that they were contacted for charity and that his pride was hurt. He even offered to pay the whole tuition if that was what Jen wanted, but he didn’t want Jen to be a charity case.

Theresa and Angelia blamed Jens family for wanting to spoil Jens life and the family wants Theresa and Angelia to stay out of the family business. Jens boyfriend Cory is stuck in the middle in that he feels inadequate that he can’t give Jen what she wants and he’s torn between Jens friends and her family. He’s in no man’s land. Jen is also stuck in the middle as this experience is bringing up past issues with her family and friends.. What a tangled web we weave…

B72 - Energy Vampires

’06 Aug 31 Thursday.

Before I went into town today to get a vehicle emissions test and license for my truck. I had a chat with Irene about her friend that is manic and bi-polar that took off for four days without telling anyone where she was going. The family had called Irene yesterday to see if she knew where she was or could be, but Irene didn’t know. Irene was worried and began making phone calls as she knew that her friend was having marriage problems and that they were separating.

I told Irene what I was picking up on her friend and that she was using this to get attention so that her family would worry, and that she in effect was feeding off them, off of their worry and concern. Later that night I heard Irene slam the phone down. I asked her what’s up and she said it was her friend, that she just came home and that she was laughing and thought it funny that everyone was looking for her and that they were worried, and that she had been at a Motel having a good time for the past four days…Irene couldn’t believe that she or anyone could do something like that.

B71 - Surprise Benefit for Jen

’06 Aug 30 Wednesday.

This morning I took Irene into a meditation where she touched being beaten by her parents and of not talking for five years. I mentioned it in my blog http://saysame-on.blogspot.com/ http://saysame-on.blogspot.com/2006/09/fear-and-denial.html After the meditation, she was tired and she went to have a rest.

While I was camping out at Irene’s and Dave’s I had gone into town to see Jen and Cory a couple of times. Jen had told me that a mutual acquaintance, Theresa, had asked to see me so and on Wednesday, after Irene went to have a lay down, I dropped in at Theresa’s place of work. As I walked though the door I was surprised to see Cory there. As it turns out, Theresa and another acquaintance, Angela, were planning a surprise benefit for Jen on Sept.8 to raise money to send her to college to take a two year Yoga course which is something that Jen has said she enjoys and would like to do. Theresa asked me what I think..... Wrong... to ask me what I think...if you're expecting me to agree with you… if I don't...

I replied saying that while you may think that you are kind and loving, what you are doing to Jen is neither kind or loving and you are actually dis-empowering her and at the same time putting tremendous pressure on her. You know that she has a hard enough time as it is extending herself to do things for others and then suffers for days or weeks to get her strength back. This yoga course is a weekly commitment, even it is just two days a week but it's also starting in two weeks and she is still recouping from her last outing. Also if she misses a couple of weeks, she'll be behind and that will also put even more pressure on her. She, with guilt help, will push herself even more, because to her, it was a loving gift and she doesn't want to disappoint her friends who gave it to her.

I said there is no love in this gift, just phony niceness and kindness pretending to be love.... Also, if it is your and Angela’s idea, then both of you do it, give her the money as a gift and let it be her choice and don't expect everyone else to dig in their pockets to make your dream and expectation for Jen come true. Yes, Jen does a lot of things for a lot of people but there is no love in it as she sacrifices herself to please others. She will push herself to the point of exhaustion to make other people happy at her expense (self-sacrifice) and there is the love in that.

They were shocked at my reply but insisted that what they were doing was loving and that a lot of people would support their cause. I didn't pursue it any farther as they had their mind made up and their asking me for my opinion was an attempt to get me to agree with them and reinforce their agenda and nothing more. To read more about Yoga click on the following link > Wikipedia Yoga <

B70 - Thoughts on kindness and niceness

’06 Aug 28 Monday 1:30 a.m.

I awoke thinking how kindness and niceness are virtues of the Spirit Polarity, the angels who denied their Will and instead, substituted a false Will. A false Will of kindness, niceness, charity, long suffering, self-sacrifice, and all the adjectives used to describe what it would take for one to love unconditionally if it were not for our emotions, ego, or the fact that we are frail humans whose body can’t take or provide us what we desire… Trouble is that they don’t live by their rules, they just make them for other who foolishly try to live by. Those that have a Will, have “real” feelings and emotions where they feel they are wrong or lacking if they don’t meet the denial based expectations of the Angels and Spirit Polarity…

These Spirit polarity angels are denial Spirits and they only put on an act to portray the “illusion” of love. “The worlds a stage and we are but players upon it” that’s a part truth in that nothing or very little of what we call reality is real, but is in essence…denial based.

I just thought of the Dalai Lama and if he is the 14th incarnate, and if the essence of the Lama’s purpose is to meditate and seek insights whereby one could escape the confines of physical life and is able to obtain enlightenment, then the question is, if physical life is what he is trying to avoid, why does he keep coming back? I guess he hasn’t “got it” yet or he wouldn’t be here. (As I was typing this I did a quick search and found this site.)

B69 - About Jen

’06 Aug 27 Sunday… I was thinking of Jen and that she’s not like the old Jen I knew, but yet she is, in a physical sense she is. What I mean is, that she doesn’t seem to be coming form the same place she once did with the same desire and passion she once had. It’s like she’s either lost something or given up on something, maybe herself.

>>> I feel that I need to give you a little background before I get into the next part of my journey as you are probably thinking who in the hell is Jen. I met Jen in 1997 by dialing a wrong phone number. We instantly hit it off and were soon talking for hours on the phone. We learned to do all of the tools that I presently use and she was the one that triggered many of levels of healing in me, including the one I previously shared a link to, regarding my terror of knives. She was also instrumental in my awakening in 2000.

She was 27 when I met her and ever since she was 14, she had been diagnosed with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, environmental sensitivities and the list goes on. She was basically house bound, on disability, living alone, and at times unable to look after herself other than her very basic needs. A couple of years ago she met Cory who has helped her a lot but she is still in her self-sacrifice, denial and guilt mode (my observation... she says judgment) by over-extending herself when she has energy and even when she doesn't, just so that she will not disappoint others and then she needs to spend days in bed recouping until the next episode. OK, enough said as I feel that sets the stage so to speak for what comes next. <<<

Hummm? So getting back to what’s changed about her. While she’s involved in reading different books and in all these different experiences that she says are healing and growth, I don’t feel that she has really grown or healed. I do feel that these experiences can be opportunities for healing and growth but that she is missing their real value by still being nice and kind as abuses herself for others and also for a false sense of pride. In that if she is sick, she doesn’t want others to feel sorry for her so she pretends that she is OK and does it anyway until she can’t physically pretend anymore. She will then negate her denials by say that she was having too much fun and that she just over did it. When I’d challenge her on that she’d get defensive and say that she knew what she was doing but that she also knew she would have a few days to rest up…. so it was OK.. I’d reply that there was no love or fun in denying and causing your body to be in intentional pain. From there we just seemed to go around in circles…

B68 - Filling in the gaps of my "life" journal

I've been busy with other aspects of this blog and I was going to skip most of the following material and only pick out what I felt was important, but then I realized that it’s all an important part of my journey and that it's these subtle little issues and nuances, that if seen and heard, offer insights to the bigger issues and of things to come... It wasn't until I was reading my journal and spotted the message I got on Sept 20, that this became evident, so as you will see, I have some backtracking to do. Now my Blog will be more of a “life” journal, than “like” a journal.

When I read the last sentence, I thought it was a typo but then I read it again and decided that it wasn’t a typo… so I just added the quotation marks and I’m leaving it as is. It has a whole different feeling and meaning and maybe, this is a change in the way I'll be Blogging. As you read these seemingly simple "getting on with life" posts you'll begin to see how they are preparing me for what is to come. That these posts are also related to the posts I had alrady made on politics, religion and the Croc hunter, including the updates... I'm going to try to get caught up by the end of the month and then October should be a more flowing and easier to follow.

Now here is the message.
’06 Sept 20 >>>"It is as a river that man channels the energies of life through him and if he were to watch and listen, he would see that his outer reality is as much a reflection of his inner reality as he chooses to see and hear."<<<


B57 - The Croc Hunter and Survival Chakra energy

(Continued from two opposite points of view)
'06 Sept 17 7:00 a.m. I awoke, hearing the sound of a man talking. There was no one else in the room and even though I was fully awake and conscious, I continued to hear and feel what he was saying. It was loud and clear and I also recognized the voice as that of Steve Irwin, the Croc Hunter. He was talking to someone in his Auzie accent saying, "This snake isn't as much fun now as when he was younger. I had more fun taunting him back then as he would get his back up but didn't have the smarts to hurt me. He was a feisty little one then; now he's more mellow and calm, but a lot more dangerous." I could also feel his excitement of past experiences and what he was feeling now as he was handling the snake he was talking about.

I flashed back to Darryls blog and thought to myself, here's another one that gets his kicks from causing another (in this case an animal) to be in fear and having to defend itself to the point of it being an act of survival and attacking its attacker. Where is the sport and fun in that? No, I should ask, where is the love in that? I then flashed back to what I felt when I heard Steve talking a moment ago.

I then realiozed that that's the kind of energy that Steve Irwin was feeding off of, the thrill and excitement of the chase of an animal that had the potential to hurt and/or even kill him, but he, having the smarts to know how and when to avoid being harmed or killed when the animal attacked in self-defence. He provoked and intimidated an animal to the point that it felt it's life was being threatened. It's survival instincts kick in and it turns around and attacks, but he cleverly dodges away as he holds the animal at bay, yet not letting it get away from him. The larger or more dangerous the animal, the greater the rush he felt when it finally turned on him after he had it corned with no way to escape.

If he couldn't corner and intimidate an animal to trigger its survival energy, he would use another technique which was the use of food to bait and entice the animal, such as a croc, to come out of its natural and protective environment. Once out, he would tempt and tease the animal, presenting the food and then taking it away, to the point of making the animal desperate to get at the food. The animals desperate desire for food is also linked to its desire for life, for without food, it would die, Here again, he was triggering the animals survival instinct and by denying the animal the food, he increased the animals desire for it. It was this "desire for life" energy that Steve sought.

There was no love for animals in this man and the only affection he did show was a phoney presentation pose for pictures with baby animals or non-threatening species where he felt safe. (As I'm writing this I'm really seeing a whole another side of people, he was actually afraid and a coward) He'd pet and kiss the animal as his way of pretending to be nice and loving, but all the while he was also "feeding" off of the animals survival energy, even if the animal was a baby. How you ask? The animal didn't come to him willingly, he'd pick it up and handled it (controlling) and when it resisted....bingo...feeding time for big Steve and time to put on the act. Getting recognized and a TV show was even more food for Irwin as now he was also feeding off the people that were his "captive" audience. (And I have to say here that I WAS one of them)

He showed his true colours the time he took his baby into a croc pen and began enticing a huge croc to come out of the water to get the food he was dangling from his hand, while he was holding his child in his other arm. It's one thing to endanger your life; it's quite another to endanger someone else's, especially a child that has no choice and can't protect itself. That display of cold hearted, indifference toward his child was an example of him showing his true colours, nature and character.

During the years of his "Croc Hunter" escapades, he'd been attacked and bitten a few times by the animals he was attacking, but his having fun with the sting ray on '06 Sept 04, was to be his last display of unlovingness, as he unknowing cornered it and it unexpectingly attacked him, putting its barbed tail in Irvins heart-less-ness chest.

So now the question is, just what is he? He's not a psychopathic killer as he only "toys" and "plays" with his food and doesn't kill it. So that only leaves Luciferian energy as he derives his pleasure by controlling and manipulating animals to the point that he triggers their survival chakra energy (Will to live) which is the energy he feeds on.

So now the next question is, what's the link between Steve and Darryl? In his blog, Darryl described his taxi ride as his thrill or high of a life time. While he was feeding off the fear of others, he wasn't directly in control or driving the taxi. Steve was the opposite as he was in total control of his expereinces. Hummm. OK, back tracking a bit.

Darryl likes to watch and play sports and he also referees at games. Again, he's not directly in control, but, during these games he is feeding of the energy of those that are, those that are attacking and those that are defending, like a basketball player focused on scoring or on taking the ball away from his opponents and defending his court. Darryl's taxi ride escalated him to another level. It wasn't a basketball "game" this time, it was life and death situations including the possibility of personal injury and even death. The taxi ride experience was also a triggering, and a feeding off of the survival chakra energy but it wasn't at the same level as that of Steve Irwin, as Darryl wasn't in control of other people like Steve was of the animals.

Hummm.... denial and unlovingness to a new level. Is this the link? The escalating craving and desire to experience this survival chakra energy (will to live) to a point that one will do anything to get it, even if it means personal injury or death to others and/or ones self. Are they feeling so dead inside that they need to feel the closeness of death to feel any sensation of life? And when they do get this energy, it's more like a momentary rush, an adrenalin rush, and then they crave another fix, another high that has to be higher and better than the last one. It's like a drug. Wow!... what a sad state of being that is.


Update: '06 Oct 17 Steve Irwins daughter Bindi Irwin to star in wildlife series


B66 - Two Opposite points of View

When I lived in Moncton, New Brunswick, I roomed with Darryl, a man about my age from Saskatchewan in the home of the bible thumper I've mentioned in earlier posts. He is now teaching English in Beijing, China. He has also started a blog and I was reading his newest post before I went to bed. I awoke around 3:00a.m with two separate frames of conscious experience. Not only had I felt some of his experiences in the taxi but I also experienced the feelings of those not in the taxi.. Here is the part of his blog that activated me. I'll share more after you have read this part of his blog.

************************ Darryls Blog ********************************
Came back on the subway and then caught a taxi from the station to the centre. This was the best one so far. First of all, you negotiate the price..2 shr 20 yuan....then we get in the 2nd cab but he is not hanging around. He's off like a rocket...off onto the main and does a U turn right at the first intersection....ignoring completely the cars coming directly at us and it would have been me that would have been hit....no problem and we are off...and he just goes. We have a red light and we do stop ....for about 5 seconds..and then we take off...I look back at Angela and sy wasn't that a red light...yes....oh well....and we going like hell...passing just about everything....trucks, big, small, bikes, motorbikes, weaving in and out....we come to a traffic jam...a truck to our right is holding up traffice behind him and a couple of cars have pulled up beside him..our guy pulls out in front of these three lanes of traffic...almost nails a motorcyclist...mutters something under his breath...pulls in front of the truck and just nonchalantly keeps right on going.....down a road with no lights and a jeep coming right at us in our lane ...jeep pulls over alongside the truck it was passing...we pull over a little to the right and pass each other....all going fairly fast...miss about 6 people who are crossing at the end of a bridge....5 make it one stays on the right side...cut in front of two buses as we are making a left hand turn and down the road to our complex....miss a 3 wheeled bike with no back lights or any reflective material at all..miss a few more people and stop in front of out place.....I pay him, shake his hand and say thanks for the best ride ever....it was a hoot...this is better than at the exhibition... We go into the store, buy 4 beer ...take it to the Canadian Club by our residences, go upstairs for a pee and are heading back down to the Club when the two people from the other cab are coming up the stairs.... What Kept Ya? HAHA
(NOTE: When he wrote the "Exhibition" he was referring to the midway rides at the Regina Exhibition in Saskatechewan)

When I awoke I felt the adrenelin rush he was experiencing without a care or worry of another person being hurt or killed or even himself. To him, he was feeling excited and alive and that was all that mattered to him in that moment. I then flipped to the other people that were nearly run over and killed by the taxi driver. There was no excitement or thrill for them, in fact in most cases it was the opposite, sheer terror, anger and rage.

It made me wonder just who and what is this divorced guy with two grown children. He appears to be easy going and laid back, feels emotions, but anything other than happiness, he denies and just moves on anmyway. He admits he's an athiest and that this life is all there is. He's basically a nice guy that will go out of his way to help another but he has to keep busy or he goes nuts. Besides working, he plays sports, is an avid runner, ref's amature basketball and football games, reads business and political news, expresses strong political support for the conservative party (Stephen Harper is his Idol) likes to listen to music and dance, have a few drinks and get "cosy" with the ladies. He has money, not a lot but is confortable and is also working. He appears to have a good and happy life... but only when he's at full throttle. When he's at anything less, he appears to experience what others do when they can't do or have what they want or desire.

I also know that if he was nearly run over by a taxi full of Chinese tourists, that he would have an entirely different view of the experience, expressing his redneck opinions and judgments and what the government should do with them as they have no respect for our laws and customs and who they could hurt being as irresponsible as they are. Although he is an admitted athiest, he basically has the same denials and point of view as the redneck, bible thumping, lady landlord that we were living with. Dah! Come to think of it, that's why they got along so good... They both basically live by the same two part "Golden Rule" that states, "do unto others as you would have other do unto you"...and the second part is "do as I say, don't do as I do".

So now.... where is this all leading me? You'll be as surprised as I was at what I was experiencing the next time I woke up. See blog post...The Croc Hunter and Survival Chakra energy



B65 - Blogs! Grrrrr.... I have a gripe!

Why do Blogs work the way they do...against the flow so to speak!

What I mean is... say that over a three day period you posted three separate entries that are all related, #1 then #2 and finally #3. Fair enough, you did your part.. BUT... and this is what ticks me off. Say someone reads the post title for #3 and sees that it's a three part entry and wants to read it all. In order for them to read post #1, they have to scroll down past post#3 and #2 in order to read #1 and when they have finished reading #1 they have to scroll back up through #1, through post #2 to the beginning of #2 and then scroll down #2 to the top of #1. Then they have to scroll back up through #2 and #3 to the top of #3 and then scroll down #3 to the top of #2... THIS IS INSANE!!!! Dah!! Who is the ____ ____ that never gave this Blogging concept any practical thought or application?

I'm not a programmer but I'm sure it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how to program it so that #1 is posted first and then #2 and #3 are posted in their respective order.... BUT.... in a DOWNWARD flow or position. Meaning.... Using the same scenario, If they read the last post #3 and found that it was a three part entry, they could scroll back up to the top of post #1 and then scroll down the page to post #2 and carry on to the beginning of post #3 and to the end of the current blog... instead of all this herky jerky up and down nonsense...

The next new blog entry #4, after #3 should also, by default, open at the top of the page with the title as it does now.

Please.... PLEASE... SOMEONE..... with a little know how.... FIX THIS MESS! I guarantee you that you will have a flood of people wanting to post and read your blogs instead of the back-ass-words ones they are currently reading...

Frustrated but finally delighted to get this off my chest.


PS: '06 Sept 20 I can see the practicality of opening a blog page and seeing the most recent post first... and there is no problem if every post is a different topic. It's only when you have posts that are like a journal, and you are reading follow ups to pervious posts that things get "herky-jerky" as I call it. If a Blog was designed to be a "journal" on the web, you would have thunk they would have found a way to display it in a similar manner to a Message Board or Forum thread.... or even an e-mail thread...

B64 - True Colours - Shit hits fan

Remarks by Pope Prompt Muslim Outrage, Protests

The pope began his lecture at the University of Regensburg by quoting from a 14th-century dialogue between the Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Paleologos, and a Persian scholar. In a passage on the concept of holy war, Benedict recited a passage of what he called "startling brusqueness," in which Manuel questioned the teachings of Islam's prophet, Muhammad. (See third paragraph for quote)

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached," Benedict quoted the emperor as saying.
The pope neither explicitly endorsed nor denounced the emperor's words, but rather used them as a preface to a discussion of faith and reason. The Vatican said the pope did not intend the remarks to be offensive to Muslims.

Hey it's happening... and I think it's great! Why? Because all the self interest corruption, lies, deceit and denials are coming to the surface.... "And the truth shall set you free".... I'd say the Popes speech was along the same lines as Bushs political adgenda, but Bush would have choosen his favorite words like terrorists, axis of evil and weapons of mass destruction.

What has been silently denied for countless centuries is finally being exposed and "the" church (in this case the Catholic Church) is beginning to show its TRUE colours, and NOT what it claims to be. While we (as a society) attempt to separate church and state it is an undeniable fact that they are intertwined and always have been as the very fabric of society and its social structures, even in primitive ones. Everyone has a religious or non-religious belief and if they are in politics or in a place of social power, their beliefs are inevitably part of their political platform.

Throughout history there has been a constant battle between church and state for POWER and CONTROL of the masses and while they may deny and claim that no such power play exists today, that doesn't change the fact that there is. Unfortunately, even most of masses will ignorantly support their political and Clerical leaders denial based rhetoric as they blindly believe that their old customs, traditions and beliefs are the truth and the only way of life.

"Denying the truth doesn't change the truth....just your perception of it." and you can quote me on that.

Thanks for reading my blog and I hope it gave you some
"Food for thought"

'06 Sept 16 The Vatican (not the pope in a personal appearance) said on Saturday the Pope was sorry.

'06 Sept 16 Vatican: Pope regrets offending Muslims.....But the statement stopped short of the apology demanded by Islamic leaders

'06 Sept 16 God's Rottweiler shows his teeth

'06 Sept 17 Pope sorry for angry reaction to his remarks..... but not for his making the remarks he did.
'06 Sept 17 You can run but you can't hide... The only way out is for the pope and the Vatican to tell the truth of why he used the words he did and his true intent... He may say he is telling the truth and justify his reasons for using them... BUT if they are not authentic and REAL... people will feel the denials and cover up for what they are and will react to this unlovingness accordingly... Problem is that if he does come clean... that exposes the Pope and the Vatican to be liars and hate mongers... and so what does that say about the church and the Catholic religion... "Oh what a tangled web we weave... when first we practice to decieve"...

'06 Sept.18 The Pontiff said on Sunday he was deeply sorry Muslims had been offended by his use of a medieval quotation on Islam and holy war. But he stopped short of retracting a speech seen as portraying Islam as a religion tainted by violence.
Al-Qaeda threatens jihad over Pope's remarks

My question is that if the quotation from a medieval text, does not in any way express the personal thoughts of the Pope or Vatican, then why in the hell did he say them? Dah! I don't believe for one moment that he is ignorant and would recite words that mean nothing. I do however believe that he is now trying to feign ignorance, knowing full well what he was saying but now that the shit has hit the fan, he is piously trying to claim papal diplomatic immunity.

That also brings up another issue. Why is he the pope? I thought that the Pope was Gods infallible spokesperson on Earth though the Church? Is this how God speaks through him? Sounds like he's in league with, and listening to someone other than God, as God would have know how these words would affect Muslins and would not have said them... not because they would offend some Muslims...but because they were unloving and said with unloving intent. It's all beginning to fall apart.....

'06 Sept 19 Muslims want further apology from pope....."We firmly ask the Vatican Pope to offer a personal, public and clear apology to the 1.5 billion Muslims in this world."

'06 Sept 20 Pope says anti-Islam quotes not his own views...."The Pope says it does not express his views. So what are his views?" said Mohammed Habib, deputy head of the influential group. "He must say these views (in the quotes) are incorrect."
Attempted assassin warns Pope against Turkey visit

'06 Sept.22 Thousands rally against pope in Mideast

'06 Sept 23 Religion and Politics... (Bed-fellows) Evangelical voters more jaded in 2006 > Christian conservatives, traditionally a reliable Republican constituency, aren't necessarily a GOP gimme this time around.
'06 Sept 24 > Cat Stevens criticizes pope over Islam comments...In an interview with BBC television, Islam (Cat Stevens) said that he went to a Catholic school, "so at one point I used to believe that the Pope was infallible." But he added that the pope's comments on Islam showed he was fallible,
'06 Sept 25 > Pope says 2 faiths must overcome enmity Benedict...has not offered a complete apology as some have sought....His five-minute address Monday at a meeting with 22 foreign diplomats and representatives of Italian Muslim organizations ..was called "mainly political" intended to improve relations with Muslim states......Fahmi Howeidi, a liberal Islamic writer in Egypt, said that since the pope did not apologize, protests may continue.... "The people that were convinced he was against Islam are not going to change their minds,"

'06 Sept 26 Oh Oh! Trouble in Paridise > Vatican sexcommunicates Zambia archbishop >>>The Vatican, accusing Milingo of "sowing division and disarray among the faithful," The Vatican also said that Milingo violated church law when he created an association of married priests and when he celebrated Mass with married clergy.
'06 Sept 26 >Mexico cardinal denies protecting priest accused of rape and molestation Cardinal Norberto Rivera on Sunday urged a Mexican priest charged with raping and molesting children to turn himself in but denied accusations that he helped protect the fugitive......Similar suits have cost U.S. Catholic dioceses an estimated $1.5 billion, alarming church leaders worldwide......Church officials in Los Angeles also have denounced the legal action, saying it is baseless.

'06 Sept 27 > Pope says tourism can promote dialogue > Pope Benedict XVI said Wednesday that tourism should help different cultures bridge gaps and promote dialogue between people..... "I hope that tourism will increasingly promote dialogue and respect between cultures, thereby becoming an open door to peace and harmonious cohabitation," Benedict said.

Maybe his holiness should take his own advice and get of his holy ass and do more sight seeing to bridge his own cultural gap....It's Ironic that the pope is now asking for public support to take the pressure of what he couldn't or rather... wouldn't do, that being to personally apologize for his hate comment.... It's the same old rhetoric and the same old "Golden Rule"....Do unto others as you would have others do unto...(preaching Peace and Harmony) and.."do as I say, don't do as I do"

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, I'm tired of all this bullshit, aren't you? Well ...maybe not... if you're a "good" Catholic, then right now you're pissed off with me... :)

I was just thinking... Maybe I should make this topic a seperate blog as it's getting big... So here is where this post ends and a new blog begins.. Religion, denials and the truth


B63 - Australia - Canada --- Christian Rednecks.. eh!

My brother-in-law sents me e-mails from time to time, mostly pictures or attachments that he thinks are funny or cool. He sent the following regarding a hot topic of discussion in Australia and said that we should apply the same laws to Canada. I'm going to post the e-mail and then my reply...
Pls substitute Canada for Australia.
Looks like a stand we could emulate quite nicely thank you.

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loyalty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown.

Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. "If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you", he said on national television.

"I'd be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another the Islamic law, that is false. If you can't agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that's a better option", Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should "clear off. Basically people who don't want to be Australians, and who don't want to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off", he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques Quote: "IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians."

"However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the 'politically correct' crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia "

"However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand."

"This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom""We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, Learn the language!"

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right; wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us."

"If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like 'A Fair Go', then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others."

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'."

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, our citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voting the same truths!!


I got you note re: Australia...and Canada ..eh.. and I just have to comment...

Seems that those in power don't look past their own self interest... and their present fears.. If what they were indeed saying was how they really felt and was truly fair for one and all... then they should also walk their talk... MEANING

They first came to Australia as exiled convicts and were basically immigrating to Australia. Why didn't they then.... and NOW.. adopt the ways, customs and life styles of the native population... after all they were there first... :) The natives weren't Christian... but had their own religion, customs and way of life that the pious, righteous and judgmental red-neck so-called Christians felt were wrong... in the same way that they now feel Muslims are wrong. Their fear is that they don't want to Muslims to do to them, what they did to the natives..... Yet a basis of Christian belief is to "do onto others as you would have others do onto you"... LOL..... makes me laugh at the hypocrisy of religious beliefs.

The same scenario holds true for Canada... eh!

A red neck is a red neck, no matter what they look like or where they live.
Harper - Canada ___________or___________ Howard - Australia

They are people so afraid of anothers belief and of possibly changing their narrow minds and life style that they are blinded by their judgments that only serve their self interests and in the process they (in the name of Christianity or whatever they use to justify their fragile beliefs and deny their fear) try to make others change their minds, customs and beliefs to have them believe and do as they do.. or in reality.... to create more pious, righteous and judgmental fraidy cat red necks.

Food for thought,

PS: I had made a brief seach and downloaded clipart for this post and it wasn't until I saw the pictures I posted of Howard, the cartoon rednecks, and Harper that I realized how ignorant we are to stereotype a redneck as just a so-called dumb, smoking, drinking, rough-housing, gun toting, lustful hillbilly, cowboy, or out-back low life that is just plain numb, ignorant and stubborn.... Well that may apply in some but cases but as you can see, some plain ole good looking and intelligent people are also rednecks.. Just goes to show you, you can't judge a book by it cover... I'm also laughing as I see a similarity between the three pictures... like Howard and Harper are the two cartoon buddies... :)

PPS: My brother-in-law wrote back....
I replied,
LOL... Well I says it like I see it...from my point of view and if you see it differently so be it........ If you also see that you have a red ring around your neck... might be time to get the soap out... :) I'm still laughing as I can see you saying " WOW!!! I GUESS I HAVE BEEN TOLD EH BROTHER" while looking shocked and sticking your tongue out as you talk and shaking your head like a cartoon character...
UPDATE: '06 Sept 21 Aborigines win Australian land claim
A federal court judge has given a tribe of Aborigines a limited land title claim over the major Australian city of Perth. It was the first such ruling for Aborigines, the indigenous people who lived in Australia before white settlers arrived.