B71 - Surprise Benefit for Jen

’06 Aug 30 Wednesday.

This morning I took Irene into a meditation where she touched being beaten by her parents and of not talking for five years. I mentioned it in my blog http://saysame-on.blogspot.com/ http://saysame-on.blogspot.com/2006/09/fear-and-denial.html After the meditation, she was tired and she went to have a rest.

While I was camping out at Irene’s and Dave’s I had gone into town to see Jen and Cory a couple of times. Jen had told me that a mutual acquaintance, Theresa, had asked to see me so and on Wednesday, after Irene went to have a lay down, I dropped in at Theresa’s place of work. As I walked though the door I was surprised to see Cory there. As it turns out, Theresa and another acquaintance, Angela, were planning a surprise benefit for Jen on Sept.8 to raise money to send her to college to take a two year Yoga course which is something that Jen has said she enjoys and would like to do. Theresa asked me what I think..... Wrong... to ask me what I think...if you're expecting me to agree with you… if I don't...

I replied saying that while you may think that you are kind and loving, what you are doing to Jen is neither kind or loving and you are actually dis-empowering her and at the same time putting tremendous pressure on her. You know that she has a hard enough time as it is extending herself to do things for others and then suffers for days or weeks to get her strength back. This yoga course is a weekly commitment, even it is just two days a week but it's also starting in two weeks and she is still recouping from her last outing. Also if she misses a couple of weeks, she'll be behind and that will also put even more pressure on her. She, with guilt help, will push herself even more, because to her, it was a loving gift and she doesn't want to disappoint her friends who gave it to her.

I said there is no love in this gift, just phony niceness and kindness pretending to be love.... Also, if it is your and Angela’s idea, then both of you do it, give her the money as a gift and let it be her choice and don't expect everyone else to dig in their pockets to make your dream and expectation for Jen come true. Yes, Jen does a lot of things for a lot of people but there is no love in it as she sacrifices herself to please others. She will push herself to the point of exhaustion to make other people happy at her expense (self-sacrifice) and there is the love in that.

They were shocked at my reply but insisted that what they were doing was loving and that a lot of people would support their cause. I didn't pursue it any farther as they had their mind made up and their asking me for my opinion was an attempt to get me to agree with them and reinforce their agenda and nothing more. To read more about Yoga click on the following link > Wikipedia Yoga <