B2 - Asking and telling

2003 June 13

Hi everyone,

I've already written a manuscript of my journey to the point of the healing experience I mentioned in "Announcements" under "about this group" and I'm presently looking to get it published. Since that experience, I have written enough material in my journals for another three books. I'm not going to enter all my previous material or the healing experiences I've had as I'm doing that in part by sharing the various material I'm posting in the different forums. What I'm going to be sharing here is my journey, in part, from this point forward. I say in part, as I'm not going to write all the details of what I'm going through or the insights I'm getting as some days I may write 20 to 30 pages and I don't have time to type all that. I will however share what I feel is appropriate with this group and to also show you that it is a work in progress, a journey, to recover all those lost parts of us. And to also show you that I am like you, still feeling lost and confused and all the rest, as I progress step by step on my journey of healing and self-empowerment.

I'm going to begin with a post I recently did in the forum, Conditional love, #103-04 Denial-Asking and Telling

My post the other day on "Denial and Prayer" included the word "asking" and that has prompted this post.

There is massive CONFUSION and DENIAL wrapped up in the word "asking" as we have lost the true meaning in our communicating with each other. We believe we are merely "asking" a question, but in reality, when challenged, it's exposed for what it really is, commanding, ordering, implying, suggesting, controlling, manipulating and unloving denial, disguised as a innocent question.

A question is a simple statement made when one is either confused and desires more information. Simple questions might be; "why is the sky blue? How do birds fly? Why is sugar sweet?" Questions, and more specifically, "asking" direct questions is honest and straight forward with no hidden agenda or denial present.

Now here are some typical "asking" questions that are NOT questions, but rather judgments, orders, commands, control and manipulation based in denial. Where are you going? Are we are out of bread? Did you feed the dog? Are the dishes washed? Is your homework done? Why are you wearing that blue dress? Why don?t you ever say you love me?? If you read between the words and the lines, you will begin to "feel" what is NOT being said and what is NOT being said is DENIAL and unloving. So while this everyday chitchat seems to be innocent on the surface, it is far more than that. It is a silent killer of the Will, the feelings and intuition of our being as we respond (in denial) to give the other person what they want.

Let's use the question, did you feed the dog? If that were a simple question without expectation, condition, control or manipulation, then a simple "no" response would be sufficient. However, in this world of denial, the person asking the question had hidden meanings, and the person being "asked" the question, denies being real and direct, but instead gets caught up in a "mind reading" game as to what the person really meant or wants. Of course, trying to read the mind of a person who is in denial and will deny anything you say is impossible. It's a "fools game" and when you play it, you are caught, and are forever going in circles.

Love, Light and Life
John Rieger/Shenreed