B14 - Exhausted and "hooked"

'05 Feb 20
Hi everyone,

During the past few weeks I'd gone to the point of almost total exhaustion from lack of sleep. The landlord, used to work till 10:30 - 11:00 pm and then I could go to bed and not be awakend. Then he began working later and he was also getting phone calls and talking until sometimes 2:00 a.m. Other times, he'd finish at 11:00 and then come back around 11:30 and begin working on puting some computers together. Needless to say I was just getting to sleep when a noise would awaken me and that was it as I'd be waiting for the next "thump or ring to wake me up. It was getting to a point that I was walking into walls and I didn't drive as I wasn't aware enough.

On wednesday night 12:30 a.m. he decided to open the door between the kitchen/living room and in so doing the birds started to squalk and woke me up. I asked him to close the door as the bird was distrubing me. He said go ahead. When I came out of the bathroom, he was not in the room but the door was still open and in going past it, I slamed it shut. He wouldn't come in, but he sent his little wife to see me. I talked to her a few minutes before going to bed. I told her that he keeps the door closed all day as he doesn't want to be distrubed by the other birds chirping, the dog or even his son, and that I have to be quiet when he's on the phone or the computer so as to not distrub him. But that after midnight, when other people are sleeping, he doesn't care if he distrubs them and I asked why the two sets of rules. She then said that she perfered it when the room was rented out to students as they said nothing. I asked her if saying nothing was "good" and saying anything that distrubes his highness was "bad" and sure, students aren't going to say anything and challange him like I do.

The next morning he was getting ready to leave for a few days and I was having breakfast. As he passsed, I asked if he was as ignorant as he pretended to be. He glared at me and hissed back, "and are you are rude as you pretent to be. I said that I wasn't pretending. That was the end of our conversation. He went away for a three days last thursday and it was the first time in a long that that I had a good sleep and even some dreams.

Last night and this morning I got the insights as to why I was confused and also how he "hooked" me. There was a time early on when he was whistling one night and I called him on it. The Next day he said he was whistling on purpose and I thought, hey! this guy is really nice. Key word THOUGHT.

I never "felt" anything from him when he said it but I was so anxious to give him the benifit of the doubt, that I denied my feelings. Then a couple of weeks ago he came into my room with the squaky bird. Again I THOUGHT, hey, he's trying to be friendly and the bird wanted to be petted so I thought "nice' bird. BUT all that was a hook again as then he used the bird to get to me to keep me awake.

Once I was in denial, they got into my head and were giving me all sorts of thoughts as to what to put in my book that I'm now writing. The more I wrote, the more confused I began and it was just spiriling down hill until I was able to get some sleep.

I feel that he's a denial spirit, and a good actor as he knows all the little tricks too. He also reminded me of my duel with the dark wizard in my believing that he had morals and scruples, but he was only pretending to have them. It's going to be interesting to see how this unfolds