B50 - Born not good enough

'06 June 13 8:12 a.m.

It is my experience that when we are dealing with denied emotions, that the emotions that first surface, that you feel are actually false emotions. That they and the experience that activated them are not the real or the cause or issue, but a reflection of the real cause and issue, that if explored, will lead to the denied emotions and the experiences that caused or created them.

I feel the same is true with our body, but I also feel it's a lot more complicated than that as you're not only dealing with false emotions, but our minds, imprints, programs and beliefs AND also our bodies feelings and it's imprints, programs and beliefs.

This morning, I felt pain and stiffness in my lower back and I also felt a feeling of heartbreak, that I can't do what I used to be able to do. I'm confused as that emotion doesn't appear to have any real relationship with the pain in my lower back or the cause of the pain, only a form of judgment of what my body can or can't do.

'06 June 13 8:23 a.m.

I just had a vision of a baby in a shopping card at a grocery store where the baby and I recognized each other. I thought of how our physical bodies are like tools that we have in order to experience physical reality, but that one condition and imprint that we still have is that we need to be born in order to experience the physical. However, in the process of being born, we lose our true remembering, powers and gifts. We're slowly loose our real selves and become what society says we should be, that who and what we are isn't good enough.

Ahh!!! I can see where that comes from and is leading to. Because what we are as a baby (our body) isn't really good enough. We didn't come into the physical world with enough essence and power to be able to live. We're dependent on other people and things in order to maintain a physical life and we basically have the same imprints, programs and beliefs until we die, because again, our physical body isn't good enough, healthy enough to maintain life. In the process of growing to a point of being physically and mentally able to look after ourselves and experience life, we also fragment and destroy our body with disease and aging to the point where maintaining life in the body is impossible and it's forced to die and try again. What a %#@*!& - up cycle

We're not good enough because we're not whole. We're not whole because we're fragmented. We're fragmented because we have no love or acceptance for the parts of us that have been over-ridden, either by others, and/or by ourselves.

JR.