B54 - Feeling pain - Pain Killers

'06 June 23

Recently, I had made a few calls to some local Reno companies and I got a call and started work on Monday July 19. It's been hot work and I not used to the physical labor of hauling 4'x 8' sheets of 1/2" drywall up three flights of stairs.

I've also been taking my medication and I can feel it starting to work the past few days and as my "lower" body is no longer in the acute pain it once was. But right now my kidneys are starting to hurt, not just hurt, they're in pain... Hurting is feeling pain, and feeling is good, is alive.... Numb is not feeling pain, numb has no feeling, feeling is no thing.

Humm? It's interesting how we ignorantly believe that when we don't feel pain, that things are fine, but in reality, we have just lost consciousness with the parts of our selves that are in pain. In taking pain killers, this loss of consciousness has been a deliberate choice, with unloving intent towards our bodies not to feel what it is feeling. There seems to be no end to our hatred for our body and its feeling of pain.

Speaking of body, I abused mine today. I stated earlier that I had started a part time job and we were renovating the third floor attic of a rooming house and converting it into another bedroom. By mid-morning we were ready to start to insulate the walls and ceiling We didn't look for the dust masks until we needed then only to discover that they had been misplaced.The boss went out to get some and we continued to install the insulation with no masks. We were almost done installing the vapor barrier by the time he returned with the masks. I knew that fiber-glass insulation dust was not good as I tried to move slowly when using it so as not to create too much dust, but the dust (tiny particles of glass) couldn't be avoided in this cramped and poorly ventilated space. I don't feel it in my lungs yet, but I know I will.


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